I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
