Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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