Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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