why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
