I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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