I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize