We're like a lot better than the average bears
This is not my ceiling
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
