so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Less talking, more tequila
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize