I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
