Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
