I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
