Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
