I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Can I color on your dick again?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
