"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
