I have demons in me.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Randomize
