I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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