are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We had to coat check the pizza.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
