So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
