i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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