My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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