she looked like the before picture.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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