apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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