So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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