Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
