yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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