You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
