For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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