you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
