Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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