Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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