fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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