This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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