We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
