The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
