Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
now i know why i became what i already was.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
