Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
