I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
