I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
