I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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