dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
