just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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