the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize