carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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