Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I deserve this hangover.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
