The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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