if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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