I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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