Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
