She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
