can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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