Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
