Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
