I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
