i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
