was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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