I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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