i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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