I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
