Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
