You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
