i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
