You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
