I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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