I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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