what day is it and did you see me today?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
