This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
