thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize